PC Book Review: Naomi Judd's Ex-Publicist Dishes Up Sex, Scandal and Soap Opera, Nashville Style in 'Twang'

Ah, the thinly-veiled roman a clef. What would beach reading be without the occasional, dishy tome, that has you wondering if the characters you're quickly turning the pages (or in this case, scrolling across via your eReader) to find out more about are based on real-life public figures or celebs?

In former country music publicist John Schlimm's hilariously-scandalous debut novel Twang, there really isn't much to wonder about in terms of who the characters are based on, but I'll let you see if you can guess.

There's:

Salome Field, a crimson haired, honky tonk queen, who for years performed as one-half of The Field Sisters—Nashville's most beloved duo—with Willa Field, her equally flame-haired, biker chick sister. Willa would rather be rocking out or riding her Harley than singing The Field Sister's "twang."  When The Field Sisters aren't making beautiful music together, they're likely chasing each other with guitars, or one is holding the other's head out of the window of a tour bus.

Salome's son Ashley Field, a talentless divo, wishes his scene-stealing mama's headlines would finally be buried on the back pages of the celeb rags; then he can finally have his day in the sun. The blonde hunk, with a penchant for public sex and starring in lame action movies—not in that particular order—is ready to prove he's the real star in the Field family; too bad he spends more time thinking about which leading lady or heiress-turned-reality star to screw than he does studying the methods of Stanislavski.

Salome was forced into retirement after a battle with cancer, yet is now plotting the comeback of a lifetime for The Field Sisters; that is if shocking secrets about the siblings' past can stay buried long enough for Salome to don her tiara (and Willa her beat up leather jacket) once again.

You can imagine Salome's desire for sleeping dogs to continue to lie isn't exactly fulfilled in Twang. What fun would that be? Enter Nashville's most popular gossip columnist, Billie Blotter, who is writing a "tribute book" about country music's biggest superstars. Little do Salome, Willa and the rest know, Billie's book is really a raunchy tell-all, set to reveal all of Music Row's dirtiest secrets and nastiest lies. 

The Fields aren't Billie's only targets, er subjects in town. There's also Country music supercouple Thad Evans and Hope Tanner, whose romantic duets and sold out, joint tours have caused Salome quite a few sleepless nights out on Love Field Farms, as she wonders if she's been replaced as Her Majesty, the Queen of Twang.

Thad wants to continue dominating the country and pop charts for years to come, while Hope would be content to give it all up to raise babies with the man of her hayseed dreams. When Billie Blotter starts to dig around beneath the carefully constructed public image of Nashville's version of Ken and Barbie, their future together starts to look more like Happily Never After than the fairy tale ending Hope had envisioned.

Rounding out the well-fleshed out, soapy cast of characters, is ambitious publicist Nat Oldham, a former beauty queen who's sick of having to sit on hold with magazine editors for 20 minutes to get even so much as a smidge of ink on her fading top client. Why should Nat spend all day trying to generate press for a hasbeen like Salome Field, when there are hot new acts like The Border Babes, a rowdy, girl group raising hell and making controversial political statements all over town, who Nat could hitch her wagon to?

Twang is the perfect soap opera in a book, a Jackie Collins-style pot boiler, with a hint of Dominick Dunne thrown in for good measure. Who knows if, like Dunne did with his recurring protagonist Gus Bailey, John Schlimm used Billie Blotter as a fictional stand-in for himself, or how close Salome Field comes to Schlimm's one-time client Naomi Judd, but it sure is fun speculating! I highly recommend you download a copy of Twang this afternoon.

For more on John Schlimm go to www.johnschlimm.com or visit him on Facebook.