Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, Great Potential Falls Short

John C. Reilly stars as Larten Crepsley, made vampire over 200 years ago, performer, warrior and as unlikely a hero as you might want to find. Salma Hayek is the bearded woman, Madame Truska, a buxom siren who’s fire red gowns contrast with a sweet nature and a loving heart. Willem Dafoe is Crepsley’s long-lived partner, a formidable vampire himself who is fiercely trying to get the elder vampires to fight the vicious vampaneze, a particularly insidious cousin to the vampire that kills when they feed, unlike the vampires.

Enter the two young men, Steve (Josh Hutchinson) and Darren (Chris Massoglia). Best friends and yet nearly complete opposites, the two receive a notice for the upcoming Cirque du Freak and, disobeying Darren’s parents, attend. Darren is fascinated by Crepsley’s spider and Steve by the vampire himself. Darren steals the spider, setting up a chain of events leading to Crepsley making him his “vampire’s assistant” and Steve his worst enemy and leader of the vampaneze.

I saw lots of potential in the film, but unfortunately it was wasted. The director chose to rush the story, structure the film in a hodgepodge and, for some unusual reason, blend the serious dark comedy with too much typical teenage angst. This film should have been made as a linear tale, developing on Darren’s brilliance, Steve’s need for counterculture acceptance and more background for the vampaneze.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant has immense problems. It needed exposition earlier in the film; the audience should have been brought on board with the “freaks” before they were just thrust on the screen. In a rather astounding move, the film uses CGI like a substitute for character rather than an aide. Only the “monkey girl,” played delightfully by Jessica Carlson, was brought into the film carefully to set up a delightful personality.

I was very much looking forward to the release of Cirque du Freak and despair that there may not be another. There are true gems in the film, but unfortunately I must give it a 2 rating out of 5.